The other day, I went to the nearby Small Bazaar, a superstore by the Past Tense group. I wanted to buy some stuff and thought it’s a good idea to go to the Small Bazaar, as I could buy whatever I needed in one place.
There was a cursory-at-best security check, before the entry. For some reason, even if a bungling stupidest terrorist / shoplifter / thug wants to gain entry, they would have easily done so with the ease of a hot knife through butter.
Once inside, I was taking the things I wanted and dropped them in to my shopping basket. I noticed that in the toothpaste section there was a big banner for SUCH, a Toothpaste, which is co-created by a leading cricketer. I wondered what the cricketer has to do with a toothpaste. Whenever he faces the bowlers, especially the fast bowlers, you could notice his shiny white teeth through the helmet visor, before he hits the ball. I never realized that it was an advertisement for this co-created toothpaste.
There was also SUCH a Tooth Brush. I wondered who would buy those tooth brushes and tooth paste. Definitely the fast bowlers who bowl to him would never buy those, as they would never want to have a brush with SUCH a player. However I noticed that every other guy in the supermarket had SUCH a Tooth Paste /Brush in their shopping basket. I could see that they all were wearing a woolen coat.
It immediately made me realize that cricketers are waking up to the fact that they can put their name to anything and everything in India and can sell it off easily. They have cleverly started with the first thing you do when you wake-up. They have a whole new day in front of them to sell everything until we sleep. There could be a Gau-Tea next up for you to start your day with a cup of hot Tea. Or, there could be an Ass-win tissue paper for you-know-what purpose to help you wipe yourself out.
You can Sing or listen to Hari's Bhajan CDs while you are having your Bread-Hogg's corn flakes for break-fast. You can lock your house with Sean's Pole Locks. You can drive to your office in your latest model Mahendra SUV. If the drive is good, you can always Say - Wah!!!!
Need a wooden finish for your SUV's dash board and interiors? Just get Dinesh Car Teak wood polish. You can have Piyush's Ready-to-eat Chawal and Hari's packaged Bha-Ji for lunch. If the food is too hot, use the Pathan brand IR-FAN (India's Revolutionary FAN) to cool it.
Rain-ah? No worries. Take your Suresh-mark umbrellas that will help you keep dry. Pooja at home? Again no worries. Call Sharma Manpower services for the best in town puRohits. You can also buy YU-VI protected sunglasses from Raj Opticals.
In case you are one who is worried about an unwanted pregnancy, there is even a Steyn's iGuard brand of abdomen guards. It’s really fragile, thin and absolutely weightless. All you need to do is wear it and play a cricket match and ensure that you get hit on the right spot. It really works there will be some pain for 72 hours. After that.... You can forget about the kids.
Just then there was a clutter near me and it brought me back to my senses. A shop employee rolled in a cart and shouted aloud - "Trouser cloth - Only Rs.100/- Only for next 5 minutes. Hurry up..."
There was a mad rush and people pushed each other vying to take a Trouser cloth. Within a couple of minutes, everyone has taken a Trouser cloth and the cart were empty. I am sure that none of those who took it, ever had an intention of buying one, when they entered the store.
Just then, there was another announcement over the PA system. Special Offer - Buy SUCH toothpaste worth Rs.100/- and get one SUCH toothbrush free. Hurry up. Offer valid only if you bill it in the next 10 minutes. Again there was a mad rush and everyone around took 4 to 5 toothpaste packs and rushed to the billing counter.
I was a mute spectator to all this. I was wondering how the likes of these Bazaars and the Cricketers and the Advertisers and the Salesmen try to pry away the hard-earned money of common people using all sorts of techniques. I gripped my wallet tightly and went towards the billing counter.
God... I know that there is no such thing as a free lunch. Still, why are you making me come to such places and spend my hard earned money like this? I searched hard within myself for an answer. I did not find one.
May be I am also wearing a woolen coat like everyone else around me, without realizing it.
PS - This portion was added on 30th April 2010. There is a new Mango variety named after a cricketer. Read this article: http://www.ndtv.com/news/cities/a-mango-named-sachin-22076.php
In Tamilnadu, people call those who are a bit on the slower side as "Maan-gaa". For those of you, who don't know Tamil, "Maan-gaa" means raw un-ripe Mango fruit. The time is not far off when all of us will be made "Maan-gaa"s.
(C) Vijayaganesh Sampathkumar 2010. All Rights Reserved.
Showing posts with label Indian Cricket. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Indian Cricket. Show all posts
Friday, March 26, 2010
Monday, August 24, 2009
The WADA Pav Controversy
Last month, it was everywhere in the news. Every newspaper worth their salt covered it. Every TV channel worth their TRP covered it. I thought what the heck...what is all this noise about? It’s only then I started reading about the much-dreaded WADA pav rules. And indeed it is dreadful. Go on. Read the story and make your own judgment.
The core issue is this: The International Ticket Council (ITC) has made it mandatory that all agents under its governance have to enforce the WADA pav rules. The ITC’s grand agent in India, the Board for no Control on Tickets in India (BCTI), has in turn wanted to obtain their players’ consent for these rules. This is the point where they hit the bottle…I mean, bottleneck. The players are refusing to sign the WADA pav rules and are on the verge of mutiny. The BCTI, sensing a serious threat of revolt from their contracted players has instead taken up the matter with the ITC. It is understood that the BCTI has knowledge about the players eating WADA pav and is worried that by signing this clause, some of them will be caught doing it.
What is so dreadful about the WADA pav rules that the Indian Ticket players are refusing to sign? The primary objective of the WADA pav rules is that no player, in any sport, can eat WADA pav, either knowingly or unknowingly, as it is supposed to increase their stamina and serve as a performance booster. Eating WADA pav is frowned upon by the world’s sporting bodies, though widely practiced by players, in private. You may recollect that the Canadian athlete Bin Gonesince had tested positive for eating WADA pav and was stripped off his gold medal as he forgot to pay for it.
Also, the ITC endorsed WADA pav rules stipulate that every player has to fill up a whereabouts clause, where in they have to mention, where they will be present at any given time, for the next 3 months. This is to help the Inspectors catch the players doing it. This is the clause that the Ticket players are worried about. They feel that they would be vacationing in Maldives, or playing you-know-what games with you-know-who in hotel rooms or visiting nightclubs, etc. and they don’t want their WADA pav inspectors to visit them at such places and catch them doing it.. oops, eating it. It’s too much of a clause for some of them. I mean, if I were them, I would be worried sick, if I were doing it and I don’t want the Inspector to catch me doing it.
The Indian Skipper M. S. Money had this to say: “…. ‘I don’t know where this clause came from. It cannot be true because what happens inside a hotel room or nightclub when the selectors, the captain and the coaches are there, when it comes out it is disgusting and disrespectful. Things like this should not be happening. I’m not saying something happened in the hotels, but over the years we have seen things…”.
The first mate Raviraj Ming was quoted as saying “… I mean this clause is stupidity. If they don’t want players to eat WADA pav, they should not make them anymore. Its gross violation of privacy, when they ask for details of where a player will be in the next X month’s time, so that they can try catching them doing it. I mean, with my commitments and girl friends, how can I be sure where I will be doing it and whose address will I give?” True enough for him, I would say.
The owner of a league team, Ms. Pretty Junta offered this: “ I don’t see how players can escape this clause. Even my current partner Bread Bee has signed this clause. I mean, I eat WADA pav almost daily. Next thing, they would even say that the team owners should not eat WADA pav, as it may indirectly assist the players. I am worried for Bread Bee”.
The clause is a cause of serious concern for some players. The scorching pace man Giri Kanth from down south is a worried man these days. “ What is WADA pav? Never heard of it. I only eat Pav BHAJJI. Pav BHAJJI is my all time favorite. Sometimes, when you eat it, it would feel like someone has slapped you hard in the face. You should try it once. It would be the experience of a lifetime. I can never get enough of Pav BHAJJI” was all he offered, when a reporter questioned him.
The Indian political leader Bhoj Mockery claimed that this is an act of insult to the great WADA pav and is tact used by Northerners to suppress local food recipes. He claimed that Northerners should stop eating WADA pav and only players who eat WADA pav daily should be selected in the National Ticket team.
There are also international players like Raffle Goodall who have signed the rules but say that it’s a violation of privacy. US Tennis Ace Guindy Maari called this rule “Dragonian”, implying that some WADA pavs are really spicy.
However, Indian Tennis players Mania Ghar-jaa and Lihesh have urged the Indian Ticket players to sign the rules, as they both have signed.
It is confusing to read all the reports and come to a conclusion. If one of the all time tennis greats, Wager DHL with all his commitments can sign this and live with it, why not the Indian Ticket players? The other Ticket players have all signed it. If you are really in the clean, one should not worry about this rule. If there are no skeletons in the cupboard, why not bare (bear) it?
All this writing has made me hungry. Wish I could have a Wada Pav now. mmm..... Yummy.
(c) Vijayaganesh Sampathkumar -2009. All Rights Reserved.
The core issue is this: The International Ticket Council (ITC) has made it mandatory that all agents under its governance have to enforce the WADA pav rules. The ITC’s grand agent in India, the Board for no Control on Tickets in India (BCTI), has in turn wanted to obtain their players’ consent for these rules. This is the point where they hit the bottle…I mean, bottleneck. The players are refusing to sign the WADA pav rules and are on the verge of mutiny. The BCTI, sensing a serious threat of revolt from their contracted players has instead taken up the matter with the ITC. It is understood that the BCTI has knowledge about the players eating WADA pav and is worried that by signing this clause, some of them will be caught doing it.
What is so dreadful about the WADA pav rules that the Indian Ticket players are refusing to sign? The primary objective of the WADA pav rules is that no player, in any sport, can eat WADA pav, either knowingly or unknowingly, as it is supposed to increase their stamina and serve as a performance booster. Eating WADA pav is frowned upon by the world’s sporting bodies, though widely practiced by players, in private. You may recollect that the Canadian athlete Bin Gonesince had tested positive for eating WADA pav and was stripped off his gold medal as he forgot to pay for it.
Also, the ITC endorsed WADA pav rules stipulate that every player has to fill up a whereabouts clause, where in they have to mention, where they will be present at any given time, for the next 3 months. This is to help the Inspectors catch the players doing it. This is the clause that the Ticket players are worried about. They feel that they would be vacationing in Maldives, or playing you-know-what games with you-know-who in hotel rooms or visiting nightclubs, etc. and they don’t want their WADA pav inspectors to visit them at such places and catch them doing it.. oops, eating it. It’s too much of a clause for some of them. I mean, if I were them, I would be worried sick, if I were doing it and I don’t want the Inspector to catch me doing it.
The Indian Skipper M. S. Money had this to say: “…. ‘I don’t know where this clause came from. It cannot be true because what happens inside a hotel room or nightclub when the selectors, the captain and the coaches are there, when it comes out it is disgusting and disrespectful. Things like this should not be happening. I’m not saying something happened in the hotels, but over the years we have seen things…”.
The first mate Raviraj Ming was quoted as saying “… I mean this clause is stupidity. If they don’t want players to eat WADA pav, they should not make them anymore. Its gross violation of privacy, when they ask for details of where a player will be in the next X month’s time, so that they can try catching them doing it. I mean, with my commitments and girl friends, how can I be sure where I will be doing it and whose address will I give?” True enough for him, I would say.
The owner of a league team, Ms. Pretty Junta offered this: “ I don’t see how players can escape this clause. Even my current partner Bread Bee has signed this clause. I mean, I eat WADA pav almost daily. Next thing, they would even say that the team owners should not eat WADA pav, as it may indirectly assist the players. I am worried for Bread Bee”.
The clause is a cause of serious concern for some players. The scorching pace man Giri Kanth from down south is a worried man these days. “ What is WADA pav? Never heard of it. I only eat Pav BHAJJI. Pav BHAJJI is my all time favorite. Sometimes, when you eat it, it would feel like someone has slapped you hard in the face. You should try it once. It would be the experience of a lifetime. I can never get enough of Pav BHAJJI” was all he offered, when a reporter questioned him.
The Indian political leader Bhoj Mockery claimed that this is an act of insult to the great WADA pav and is tact used by Northerners to suppress local food recipes. He claimed that Northerners should stop eating WADA pav and only players who eat WADA pav daily should be selected in the National Ticket team.
There are also international players like Raffle Goodall who have signed the rules but say that it’s a violation of privacy. US Tennis Ace Guindy Maari called this rule “Dragonian”, implying that some WADA pavs are really spicy.
However, Indian Tennis players Mania Ghar-jaa and Lihesh have urged the Indian Ticket players to sign the rules, as they both have signed.
It is confusing to read all the reports and come to a conclusion. If one of the all time tennis greats, Wager DHL with all his commitments can sign this and live with it, why not the Indian Ticket players? The other Ticket players have all signed it. If you are really in the clean, one should not worry about this rule. If there are no skeletons in the cupboard, why not bare (bear) it?
All this writing has made me hungry. Wish I could have a Wada Pav now. mmm..... Yummy.
(c) Vijayaganesh Sampathkumar -2009. All Rights Reserved.
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