1-800-KALD-LYF

"Hey... Wazzup man?"

"Hi. How are you? What a surprise... Haven't seen you in a long time."

"Yeah buddy.... I was the in the States for a while. Good to see you man!!!! What are you up to these days?"

"I am still in the same old job. How about you?"

"I went to the States and I was living my dream."

"Tell me all about it."

"Sure. I was there visiting a friend, when I saw an ad on TV for 1-800-GET-JOBS. I called up and a voice with a Texan drawl on the other end found me a job there."

"Is it? How did you manage your Visa?"

"Its simple man. I just called 1-800-VISAS-4U and got one arranged."

"Oh.. "

"Once I landed up in a job, I simply called 1-800-HOUSING and got myself settled in a nice condo."

"Then what happened?"

"I got myself a nice car by calling 1-800-EZE-CARS. They in turn called 1-800-EZE-LOAN. By the way, do you have a car?"

"No.. I still use public transport to commute."

"Oh.. Okay. New job, New car, New house. Everything was going great. But I felt lonely."

"Yeah.. Feeling lonely is bad."

"Yeah. It was certainly bad. Thats why I called 1-800-GET-FIXD and found a match for myself. I was living the dream."

"For all that good life,  you must have paid a good deal of taxes."

"No... I was too clever for paying taxes. I called 1-800-TAX-FRAD who helped me with my tax planning and I almost paid no taxes."

"Tax free life.... That must have been good for sure. Like in Heaven."

"Yes. It was good and going great for a while. It was then that I lost my job."

"Oh.. What happened?"

"I once called 1-800-BURGERS from my work place and ordered lunch."

"Oh.. But I do not see the connection."

"Yeah.... I forgot to tell you that I was working part-time in a Taco Bell joint."

"Okay. I see."

"Anyway, I could not get another job due to economic downturn."

"So what did you do?"

"I called 1-800-GET-JOBS again. This time I was told that there are no more jobs available. I had a feeling that the voice had a Indian / Filipino accent to it."

"Oh.."

"Yeah. It was then my partner was becoming a pain with her shopping sprees that I could not bank-roll. So I called up 1-800-UNFIXIT to solve the problem."

"Did that solve?"

"Yes. It did. That was the time I lost my house."

"Oh.. What happened?"

"Some whistle blower had called 1-800-DAMD-IRS and informed about my tax savings. They issued me notices and took away my house.I was left with only my Car."

"Thats sad..."

"Yeah...I wanted to do the dutch act and called 1-800-QIT-LIFE and got suggestions for ways to do it. "

"They even tell you that????"

"Yeah... You have 1-800 numbers for everything. You get free advice. I attempted it by driving in the wrong direction."

"My god... what happened then?"

"It was Superbowl evening and there was not a single soul on the road. My plan failed. I got caught the next day because of the traffic camera and they took away my car. They called 1-800-MAD-HOUZ and arranged to send me to the Asylum."

"Oh.. What a pity.."

"Yeah.. I had to go through rehabilitation. I called  1-800-LIV-LIFE and received daily counseling."

"That must have been good."

"Yeah... I was fully transformed and back to my old self. But I had no Job, no Money, no House, no wife and no car. My dream had ended."

"So what did you do then?"

"I got up, brushed my teeth and had my morning coffee."

(C) Vijayaganesh Sampthkumar 2010. All Rights Reserved.