Mamma Mia! - Part 1: Dancing Queen

When in Rome, do as the Romans do!

Tired of this cliché? Sorry can't help it.

Well, coming to the point, one also cannot escape the cricket world cup fever infecting everyone in the country. And, I am no exception, dear.

When everyone is talking about cricket and has an opinion, why not me? So, thats why, I said - "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"!

What did the Romans do? They watched Gladiatorial fights and exclaimed "Mamma Mia!". Our cricketers are our modern day Gladiators.

So here is my take on the cricket world cup 2011. While I write this, India have just won the Semi-final against Pakistan. You might have heard of the Broadway hit Musical - "Mamma Mia", or might even have watched the Movie  - "Mamma Mia" staring Pierce Brosnan (which grossly did not do justice to the original Musical, in my opinion). For those of you who don't know, Mamma Mia is a musical based on songs of ABBA, one of the deservedly greatest bands ever.

Now, don't tell me that you have not heard of ABBA or listened to their songs. If not, you have missed one of the simplest, yet most fulfilling pleasures of human life. Its not too late and you can start right away with Youtube or buy their songs on iTunes. If you are not familiar with their songs or even with the happenings of the Cricket World Cup 2011, the following posting will not make sense to you and I suggest that you can as well stop reading at this point.

The following is a reflection of the events that happened during this world cup. Here is a look back on how this Cricket World Cup 2011 would have been like, had it also been a Musical like Mamma Mia. This musical is where the story of the world cup slowly unfolds and different cricketers sing to the songs of ABBA appropriate for each situation they are in. This is going to be a multi-part series of postings, depending on the length of the posts.

Now over to the Musical.

Scene:

All the fourteen team captains have gathered for the inaugural ceremony and a photo session. Each one is imagining that they will end up winning the cup. They are singing this chorus to the tune of "I have a dream":

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream


Scene:
 Micheal Hussey looks very distraught at being omitted from the Australian world cup squad. He had claimed he was fit enough, but CA and his captain had overlooked his selection. He pours his heart out and starts singing to the tune of "S.O.S":

Where are those happy days,
They seem so hard to find
I tried to reach for you
But you have closed your mind
Whatever happened to our love
I wish I understood
It used to be so nice, it used to be so good

So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me SOS
The love you gave me, nothing else can save me SOS
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on

You seem so far away though you are standing near
You made me feel alive, but something died I fear
I really tried to make it out
I wish I understood
What happened to our love, it used to be so good

So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me SOS
The love you gave me, nothing else can save me SOS

Scene:

The Irish team goes out for a celebration party, after unexpectedly beating England in the league stage - a near impossible victory. They go bar hoping and the team members take turns to sing to the tune of "Dancing Queen":

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music,
getting in the swing
You come in to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the music's high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the Dancing Queen,
young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen,
feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah
You can dance, you can jive,
having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene,
diggin' the Dancing Queen


(End of Part 1. More follows...)

(C) Vijayaganesh Sampathkumar, 2011. All Rights Reserved.

Bangalored!!!

Would you care to listen to me for a couple of minutes? Please?

No. I insist. Its for your own good.

Never read newspapers and extrapolate on things contained therein. 

Today, I read a newspaper that had an article about how it is predicted that the word "Bangalored" may soon enter the English Dictionary and started extrapolating on how things may look like in the future.

This is what could happen in 2023 AD when someone looks up these words in the Merriam-Websters online page. Trust me. Its a dangerous exercise!!!


1. Bangalored:

Ban·ga·lored
Verb \ˈbaŋ-gə-ˌlȯr-d\

To procure services from a supplier who is located in a third world low cost country, especially India.

Example: 80 Senator jobs being bangalored to Manila.

2. Hyderabaded:

Hy.de.ra.baded

Verb \ˈhī-d(ə-)rə-ˌbad-d

To participate in unnecessary agitations, demanding division of a geographical area based on perceived threats to one's non-existent culture, especially by goons under the guise of university students.

Example: Some of the Inmates hyderabaded against the jail authorities, demanding that inmates from Andhra be kept in a separate block.

3. Indianized

In.dian.ized / In.di.an.izing

Verb: \ \ˈin-dē-ə-ˌnīzd\

Executing business through a non-existent process that guarantees the success of the end result by hook or crook, often at the cost of reduced quality.

Example: The CEO claimed that they are greared up and indianized to acheive a 30% YOY growth.

4. Shanghaied

Shang.haied

Verb: \ \ˈshaŋ-ˌhīd, shaŋ-ˈhīd\

To procure goods from a supplier who is located in a third world low cost country, especially China. Shanghai is to goods as to what Bangalore is for services.

Example: Sickdonald's shanghaies 800 trillion hamburgers during March.

5. Beijinged

Bei.jinged

Verb: \ˈbā-ˈjiŋd, ÷-ˈzhiŋd\

To be stuck in a traffic jam for at least 5 days.

Example: Cars beijinged in Sau Paulo due to unknown reason.

6. Chinawd

Chi.nawd

Verb: \ˈchī-nəd\

To control one's currency exchange rate, so as to cause harm to the world at large in the long run.

Example: The European Central Bank chinawd it's way towards strenghtening the failing Euro.

7. Americawd

Am.er.i.cawd

Verb: \ə-ˈmer-ə-kəd, -ˈme-rəd-\

To print unlimitted supply of one's own currency and still convince others that they are still worthy as gold.

Example: The counterfeit gang americawd unsuspecting people into exchanging their genuine money for their newly minted ones.


8. Caymaned.

Kay.mand

Verb: \(ˌ)kā-ˈmand, attributively ˈkā-mənd\

To send out laundered money earned through illegal means, especially by western businessmen, politicians or corporations. Also look-up Genevawd.

Example: The arrested CEO of Yenron had earlier caymaned an amount of 600 million dollars.

9. Genevawd.

Ge.ne.vawd

Verb: \jə-ˈnē-vəd\

To send out laundered money earned through illegal means, especially by Indian businessmen, politicians and corporations. Also look-up Caymaned.

Example: 2G scam money worth 75,000 crores genevawd and routed back to India through Participatory Notes.

10. Bangkoked.

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(C) Vijayaganesh Sampathkumar, 2011. All Rights Reserved.

An Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard

There was a young squadron from Ireland
Their dress - Green - for Emerald Island
Their opponents were covered in their piss
They'll celebrate with crates of Guinness
For they thrashed the ladies from England

They are the lads from Kildare and Mayo
Also from Shannon, Dublin and Carlow
They proved their game is great and fine
Tonight they scored three twenty nine
No longer should they be called the Minnow

They are from the land of Yeats
Their win was not due to fate
They re-wrote the Elegy in a Country Churchyard
On a cricket pitch of just a twenty two yards
Rest in peace - English Cricket

Take a bow Ireland!!! You guys have made the game of cricket proud today!!!

This posting is dedicated to the great young guns of the Irish Cricket Team that made history today.

(C) Vijayaganesh Sampathkumar 2011. All Rights Reserved.