Friday, October 2, 2009

What's your Philosophy?

Warning: All the interpretations are the Author's own. E & O E. Read on at your own risk.

Theism - You are a theist, if you believe that its because of God's actions that last night you were able to eat Butter Scotch Ice-cream.

Monotheism - You are a Monotheist if you believe that you got a bonus last year because YOUR God wanted you to have your bonus. You also believe that your colleague did not get any bonus because he believes in a different God than yours.

Polytheism - You are a Polytheist if you believe that God X will help you safely reach the exam center on time, even when you start late and God Y will help you get good scores even if you had not studied for the exam. You also believe that God X and God Y are friendly with each other.

Deism - You are a Deist if you believe that God exists somewhere and He created cows and the Cocoa plant so that you can eat Dairy Milk Chocolate.

(If you have read this far, you are indeed a risk loving person).

Atheism - You are an Atheist, if you believe that by wearing a Black shirt and reading Karl Marx and Bertrand Russell's works, you can prove to the world that there is no God.

Agnosticism - You are an Agnostic, if you know that you really don't know if you can know who or what is God.

Skepticism - You are a Skeptic, if you believe that Heaven is a Bar in your city and does not really exist in the form as told by your grandma in your childhood.

Noncognitivism - You are a Noncognitivist, if you regularly quote the sentence "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously" in religious discussions to prove that you are one of them.

Nihilism - You are a Nihilist, if you want to end your life just because you did not like the last meal you had.

(My God.. You never listened to me about reading this.. Did you? May be you should consider participating in Fear Factor for your risk taking abilities).

Fallibilism - You are a Fallibilist, if you believe that you will commit any Sin, if the price is right.

Secularism - You are a Secularist, if you believe everything they show in the movie Amar Akbar Antony is true.

Fatalism - You are a fatalist, if you believe that loosing your Gold chain, while standing in queue for offering prayers was anyway bound to happen and nothing could have changed it.

Determinism - You are a Determinist, if you believe that God knows about the Cocoa Cream Pudding you ate last night on the sly and he is bound to punish you for eating it from the fridge without your spouse's knowledge.

Have you found your Philosophy?

Congrats. You have just proven that Murphy's laws are true - " Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure."

I can guess that by now, you want to know what's my Philosophy? I don't want to disappoint you. I am the sort of guy who place's Karl Marx's works in front of Goddess Saraswathi on Saraswathi Pooja day of Dushera festival and dutifully reads those books on the next day of Vijayadasami. Now, what do you make of that?

I guess you can call me a Confusionist.

(c) Vijayaganesh Sampathkumar -2009. All Rights Reserved.

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